Greetings to you from the land where a little boy saved the country by sticking a finger in a dike. Today I would like to talk about the Dutch beach experience. The Netherlands has beaches on the Northern Atlantic (specifically, the Noordzee). Most of them are flat and sandy, and we actually have some beach resort towns worth mentioning.
Firstly, there is Scheveningen which, if you heard it pronounced, is the classic example of why Dutch is known as a language of coughing and spitting. Scheveningen has a casino, a beach, and a rather odd pier which is sort of like a 4-headed hydra sticking out into the sea. It was officially closed in 2013 owing to a fire inspection, but has partially reopened in 2015. Also, there's a beach.
One of the specialties of Dutch beaches is that they're at least partially populated by elderly Germans who smell like sunscreen but look like they should have bought a higher sun factor. The other thing is that beaches feature something called "pavillions" which is a very diplomatic way to say "bars that employ underpaid students to serve large amounts of beer to the aforementioned German lobster people". Also, they usually serve things like kibbeling (see previous blog) and other seaside fare like mussels and herring.
The other beach resort town is called "Zandvoort", which is where many Dutch people flock to whenever anyone saw a ray of sunshine. Trains will be bulging with people toting bags full of beach toys, sunscreen, homemade sandwiches which all have butter on them and will, within the hour, also have a layer of fine sand in addition to whatever topping they have. Crunchy delight!
Zandvoort, which is a town where business is very seasonal (since Summer in the Netherlands is detected not so much by the weather as by the date) that they have to maximize what they can get out of tourists. One way to do this is to place as many Chines-cheap-plastic-junk and sunscreen and flipflop selling stores between the train station and the beach. A gauntlet of overpriced impulse buys, aimed to keep the population afloat during the fall and winter to come. Sort of like nuts and berries, but for people instead of squirrels.
Another thing that is available in quantity is beer, served in many many bars, should you not reach the beach. I must mention however, that there is an oasis in the downtown area called Giraudi. This place, that has been there for decades, is an Italian place that makes their own ice cream. When I was 17-ish, and still lived in Amsterdam (a mere 30 minutes by train), Giraudi was always the first port of call.The way to go about Beach In Holland and not get driven crazy by a mob of sunscreen convered beer swilling and sunburned people is to be well prepared. This should happen thusly:
Enter Giraudi's. Purchase one liter (say, 2 pints) of freshly made malaga ice cream. To make malaga ice cream, one needs a large amount of rum (and raisins). Start eating. by the time you can see the beach you are impervious to noise, beer, poorly executed volley ball, and worst: The old man wearing swim trunks dating back to 1940 through which - from the side - you can see most of his shriveled - you get the idea. Coat yourself with sunscreen. Head back for the train when you have a single white spot on your belly in the shape of your watch.
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